


ocean eyes

by blue_surroundings



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Erik Has Feelings, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, LGBTQ Character, Letters, Love, M/M, Young Charles Xavier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 00:57:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_surroundings/pseuds/blue_surroundings
Summary: Erik knew it from the moment he first saw him."You're not alone, Erik," he repeated over and over again in his mind.Now, he had lost him.He was going to stick to his plan, of course he was, but even with all those people who supported him, it wasn't the same thing.He wasn't there.





	ocean eyes

**Author's Note:**

> hope you like this :(💕💕

_Charles: _

_I'm sorry, I know this catches you on the spur of the moment, but I can't find any other way._

_ I don't know what you're doing to me. Actually, yes, but I guess I don't want to accept it. _

_Do you remember the day we met? I was going to drown for trying to kill a man, but you came and saved me. "You're not alone, Erik," you told me, and I believed you. _

_And I believe you. _

_And even if you don't, I also think you saved me a little. _

_You taught me a lot of things Charles, you taught me how to control my powers, you taught me what it was like to feel loved._

_ Do you still love me? _

_I don't know what I'm doing here. Surrounded by all these people, waiting for you to show up and take me away. _

_I guess I'll wait centuries. I miss everything about you. _

_Your face, with the smile that gave me the good days, the smile that said to me of itself "you can't hide yourself Erik, I know everything about you and you shouldn't worry about feeling hated here". _

_Do you hate me? You never made it clear to me. _

_I miss your eyes. _

_Looking at them every day, evening and night. _

_To know your emotions just by watching you, I guess you don't let yourself be loved so much anymore._

_ Your eyes, those beautiful blue eyes._

_ I wonder if someday I will see them again, I suppose so, because there will be fights Charles, and I hope to see you fighting for your ideas._

_ Defending them as if they were your daughters. _

_The last time I saw them, they were full of pain, and I can never forgive myself. You were about to cry Charles, and it was my fault._

_ Who would have thought that I would feel that way about you, and that I would never let go of the guilt of that accident. _

_How is everything over there? I guess Hank is fine. And Moira? What have you done with her?_

_ Should I care? _

_I don't even know why I make the effort to write this, will I ever give it to you? I suppose not. _

_There are times when I take off my helmet and I hope that you will find me, that you will come with the others and then I will pretend that you should not be here, let myself be dragged by your words._

_ I love your voice. It's one of the most beautiful I've ever heard in my life. _

_Sometimes I liked to imagine you singing any song for me. I never asked you who your favorite singer is, or did I?_

_ I loved it when you gave a talk, because you could feel the confidence in your voice, something I probably won't hear anymore._

_ I miss our chess games. The raffle of which color were you and which me._ _The one in which you move the pieces with your powers and I do the same with mine. _

_It seemed that we were made for that. To play chess infinitely. _

_Will we ever play again? _

_I miss our little chats on the lawn or outside the mansion. I always wondered if you knew what I was going to say because you read my mind. _

_I want to hug you. I've wanted to hug you many times, a lot of time wasted on whether I did it or not. _

_I want to feel safe in your arms, and for you to feel safe in mine. I want to rock you and tell you that everything is going to be fine, and for us to believe it for at least a second._

_ Let's believe that time stops, and that it's just you and me, no one more, no one less. _

_Then I would cry. I'd cry because I've been waiting a long time for that, but it's never going to happen, is it? _

_I want to dance with you all the songs that exist, to dance in the corridors, in the rooms and in the streets._

_ I don't want to feel ashamed of loving you, Charles. _

_I remember that moment when, after I managed to move the antenna, Moira appeared and you looked at her with a face of deep love. Have you ever looked at me like that without me noticing? _

_Because I did, Charles. I looked at you waiting for you to look at me the same. You never did._

_ Do you do it now, thinking about the time we were together, that time I could have taken advantage of and done a lot more for you? _

_Do you look at the Erik of your memories as I looked at you (and I will continue to look at you)?_

_Oh, I forgot._

_ Your lips._

_ From the first moment I saw you bite them, I wondered what they might taste like._

_ I imagine many flavors, and someday I would like to confirm it._

_ Would you leave me? And if the first time I don't confirm it, I hope you don't mind if I kiss you a second time._

_ What am I saying, that's not going to happen, is it? _

_There are days when I wonder what you really think. What do you think every time you see me, every time you hear my thoughts, every time I appear in your mind. _

_Was it all a game to you? _

_What do you want from me, Charles? _

_Why are you doing this to me? _

_Why... do you not come out of my head even when my helmet is on?_

_ If you knew what I thought that day in Cuba, when I was holding you in my arms, I wonder how you would have reacted. _

_What are you thinking about?_

_ About me? Are you feeling the same way as me?_

_ Because I'm lost without you, and I'd like to know if you feel the same way._

_ I am surrounded by people, people who think like me. _

_Who have lived through injustices that shouldn't have happened. And yet I don't feel good._

_ I don't feel well because I still hope to turn around and find you in front of me. I wouldn't even know how to react,_ _but I'd think of something._

_Probably act like an idiot, as always._

_There are days when I go out the door and my mind tries to take me with you._

_Son of a bitch._

_I don't feel at home, Charles._

_Because my home is where you are._

_Something tells me I'll end up giving you this._

_Should I?_

_Everyone tells me I should move on._

_And I'm lying in your ocean eyes._

_-Erik._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Charles -. As a young man with glasses entered the room, Charles looked up from his book.

-Yes, Hank?

-There is mail for you - .He gives him a letter in which you can read "Charles Xavier, School for Gifted Youngsters", followed by a "hello, old friend".

Charles smiles.


End file.
